*Bonus feature*…During Halloween this shit doubles as a “Tron” helmet…LMAO…
*Product Description*
Sooth Yourself by Yourself! Alleviate stress and tension, relieve migraine pain, increase blood circulation, and enter a mode of relaxation with this revolutionary head massager. The device’s application of accupressure simulates the sensation of hundreds of fingers simultaneously massaging your scalp. The cap fits comfortably on any head and easily adjusts to accommodate different sizes. The patented design is lightweight and easy to use while at your office desk, on the morning commute, or while enjoying your evening television program. Includes a rechargeable battery and AC adapter. Size: 10″ x 6 1/2″ x 7″.
The Trophy You’ve Always Wanted! You won’t believe your eyes! This anatomically correct mounted pair performs to the hit song “Titties and Beer” by Rodney Carrington. Molded in soft vinyl with real bikini top! Mount these jiggly jugs on the wall or use the included display stand. Set them on motion-detect mode and surprise the unsuspecting! Fun for home, office, garage, workshop, gameroom, etc.
As far as I can tell this DIY robot (unless you are 7) = LAME!
Please check out instructables.com for DIY projects that don’t bring the suck!
*Product Description*
Create a Clean Energy Critter — As fun to build as it is to play with when complete, this unique robot project uses a recycled soda can you provide and transforms it into a robotic bug toy. A vibration sensation, Robug emits sound and moves across the floor as soon as you switch it on. — Includes a motor casing, toy motor, body plate, body rims, battery casing, four large screws with bolts, small screws, plastic terminal caps, wire legs and wings, detailed instructions with fun facts. Requires two AA batteries, screw driver for cross head screws, and a used soda can you provide. — Recommended ages 8 and up.
This craptastic plastic lady is better looking than most of the trailer-park trash emloyed at real strip clubs. The best part about this gadget is that you don’t have to worry about your eyeball’s catching an STD while watching this little lady dance. I call this an “Epic Win” for the perverts of the world!
*Product Description*
This sexy USB Pole Dancer was yanked from the shelves in England after customers complained that it was too outrageous! Stateside, she’s still ready to get your blood pumping — perfect for a dull day at the office, or whenever you want to save your singles! Just plug your curvy new deskmate into your computer’s USB port and watch as she spins up and down her pole while multicolored lights flash and a sensuous slow jam plays. Finally, a gadget that turns you on, instead of the other way around!
Air-o-Space 5-in-1 EZ Queen Size Inflatable Sofa Bed
$100? Uh…No Thanks, this shit looks like it’s made out of superglued garbage bags.
*Product Description*
It’s not very often that a company can claim that their product is the ultimate seating and sleeping solution, but in this case it’s true. The Air-o-Space 5-in-1 Inflatable Sofa Bed is a space saving, functional dynamo! It’s not your ordinary air bed because it offers five different functions: a deluxe queen sized air mattress, a kid’s booster bed, a stylish sofa, a luxurious lounger and a relaxed recliner. The Air-o-Space 5-in-1 Inflatable Sofa Bed provides you with a relaxing and attractive piece of furniture that converts from a sofa to a comfortable bed easily. It is perfect for creating more space in small living areas. It provides an unbeatable combination of modern style, value and practicality. It can be used inside and out.
You really do not want to have wet hands when handling delicate visual materials for your work (Your favorite wank-bait). But you are in the world of rush creating content for upcoming pr campaigns (uploading homemade lip syncing videos to youtube). Or you may be in deep in a chat room wanting to have nothing to break your focus (Trying to mac on some hot chick in the “Town Square” chat room who is actually just a 32 year old man that still lives with his mommy in Alabama). This is it for you ! No more sweaty hands to disturb your creativity (Special time). It has three internal cooling fans to keep your hands cool and clean! (Except for those jiz stains under your finger nails.)
Jake says: I honestly see no reason to leave my room anymore. This thing even comes preloaded with wank bait!
Satisfied Real Touch Customer
Thanks Jake, this was a hilarious find!
*Product Description*
RealTouch will revolutionize the way you think about sex. In a snap, RealTouch is set up and ready to use. Simply connect RealTouch to your computer using the enclosed USB cable. Then, plug RealTouch into the nearest wall outlet. Next, visit the activation website and type the Device ID into the appropriate text field. Finally, select a movie from the RealTouch Video On Demand Theater. RealTouch does all the rest. Place it in your lap, on your desk, or wherever your imagination takes you. RealTouch is perfectly weighted for hands-free enjoyment, keeping you in complete control. Every RealTouch device is engineered with advanced haptic technology. Haptics provide sensory feedback to your gaming experience. It’s what allows you to feel the impact of a car crash or a bone-jarring knock out punch. Now, this incredible technology adds the sensation of touch to your favorite adult movies, letting you feel what you see on screen.
Ready for some summer fun? Then stay the hell away from this thing! This abomination looks to be the result of a jet-ski and inflatable pool raft’s one night stand. (I guess Mr. Jet-ski forgot to pull out) The most amazing thing about this piece of doo doo, (pun intended) which tops out at about 2.6mph, is that it sells for a whopping $399.99
I call shenanigans!
*Product Description*
Experience a totally new aqua sport adventure! . Performance battery-powered inflatable personal watercraft. Dual speed control and runs at a speed of up to 2.6 mph (4.2 km/h). 12V, 12 Ah lead acid rechargeable battery required (included). Holds 2 adults; weight limit is a maximum of 400 lb. (two people at 200 lbs / 91 kg each). Protection system that includes, master switch lock, over current protection, low voltage protection, high temperature protection, stall protection, finger ingress protection. Quality PVC inflatable with nylon cover. Includes charger and PVC repair kit. Competent adult supervision should always be provided to prevent drowning or other injury. Refer to Owners Manual for instructions on proper use.
Yo ladies, why the hell would you waste money on a boobie massager when millions of dudes would do it for free? All you gotta do is ask us. This shit is apparently supposed to make your tits bigger too. I call shenanigans.
*Product Description*
Enlarge female’s breast obviously: Pangao breast enhancer can stimulate female’s breast, accelerate blood circulation and activate cell renewal and hormone secretion through physical massage with forceful vibration balls inside. In this way female breast will become more healthy and sexy. Pangao beauty enhancer enlarge breast obviously, make breast graceful and rounded, sexy and youthful. (Yay)
Posted by wiredwonder 
