This would most likely become a mangled heap of plastic in no less than a day at my house. Why the hell would you buy something purposefully designed to piss you off every mourning?
Run Away Alarm Clock = EPIC FAIL!
*Product Description*
Is your morning breath that bad? Alarm clock runs away beeping and chattering, even jumping off your nightstand, looking for a place to hide. Want to shut him up? Gotta get up and find him. Clock is able to jump from 3-ft tall surfaces, run on wood and most carpeting, with option to turn wheels off and use as a conventional alarm clock.
This guy looks way to freak’n happy. I bet if you examine his cotton gal-pal under a black light you will find out why.
*Product Description*
Give your favorite lonely pal a little company and make his next Saturday night a little more lively. Hilarious pillow wears a polka dot bikini top, a bracelet and bright red fingernails. Flip its switch and it vibrates. Makes a conversation-starting addition to any bachelor’s décor. Polyester plush. 19″H x 13″W. Requires 2 “D” batteries (not incl.) Our Exclusive Design. This item is not a toy.
This safe has been tested! It has kept my family jewels safe for a month now.
*CAUTION* This gadget may backfire if the person robbing your house is a total pervert or is in total disbelief that someone could produce such a monstrosity and picks them up for closer inspection.
*Product Description*
The “Brief Safe” is an innovative diversion safe that can secure your cash, documents, and other small valuables from inquisitive eyes and thieving hands, both at home and when you’re traveling. Items can be hidden right under their noses with these specially-designed briefs which contain a fly-accessed 4″ x 10″ secret compartment with Velcro closure and “special markings” on the lower rear portion. Leave the “Brief Safe” in plain view in your laundry basket or washing machine at home, or in your suitcase in a hotel room – even the most hardened burgler or most curious snoop will “skid” to a screeching halt as soon as they see them. (Wouldn’t you?) Made in USA. One size. Color: white (and brown).
Who in their right mind would trust their camera with this crap? A single gust from a 1mph breeze would probably be enough to knock this shit over. Even so, I’m guessing the person who invented this is filthy rich. And dammit, I’m jealous.
*Product Description*
Bottle cap tripod magically turns a bottle into a tripod, ideal for night shot and self portrait. The bottle cap tripod fits bottles with 28.5 to 30.5mm diameter.
Get this all time classic treat right out of the microwave! You can microwave 2 S’Mores in 30 seconds or less using this innovative product. Just fill the water reservoir, place your graham crackers, chocolate and marshmellow on the tray and heat. The marshmellow and chocolate heat at the same time, thus ensuring a perfect S’More every time. Must change the water in the reservoir after every 2nd time used. Dishwasher safe.
I guess that people are so stupid these days they need a device to help them make smoores?
Just the thing the “Super Mario Bros” need. Now they can spend more time saving the princess by cutting down on the time it takes to scarf down a plate of spaghetti. Too bad for them, the “Electric Spaghetti Fork” is in a different castle!
The great thing about this gadget is that it will never break. It can only turn into a regular fork.
*Product Description*
Eating pasta has never been easier — or more fun! Twirling is a better way to eat spaghetti and the motorized fork automatically winds up the pasta on the end of the fork! Now there’s less mess, more satisfying bites and 100% twirling fun. Battery operated (requires two AAA batteries, not included). Dishwasher safe metal prong end.
It’s a dog bum pencil sharpener! Oh yeah. Nicely stylized and crafted from high quality materials to feel just as good as it looks! Complete with internal soundchip so it goes woof..woof..woof when the pencil is inserted. Comes with litter tray to collect shavings.
Have you been looking for an easier way to join the goatee craze? Are you jinxed with terrible hand-eye coordination? If you have answered yes to any of these questions, this device is for you! With your very own “Goatee Saver” you can trace an oval pattern onto your face and look awkward too. Now that you have chosen to take facial styling to the next level, prepare your wallet to take a hit baby, cause perfection ain’t cheap.
*Product Description*
No more crooked, uneven shaves. Instead, walk away with a perfectly-shaped goatee every time. Shaving template adjusts for preferred shape and fits any size face. Just bite down on soft, plastic mouthpiece to hold to face while shaving.
A great radio for Boob lovers! This battery operated radio is AM/FM and uses the rubber feel nipples for tuning & volume control. It is a definite “Turn On”!!!!
Now only $24.99
If you order within the next 30 minutes they’ll throw in a cover for absolutely FREE!
Just the thing you need when you get that burning urge to update your facebook and grill chicken at the same time.
*Product Description*
The low-fat, high-bandwidth solution to your networked cooking needs is finally here. The George Foreman USB iGrill conveniently connects to your home or office PC using USB 2.0 technology, and provides a sophisticated web-based cooking interface.
Download recipes, enter in the type of food, weight and desired degree of doneness, and the iGrill handles the rest. Did you know that a medium rare 1/4 lb. hamburger made from 80% lean beef takes 1 minute and 45 seconds less cook time than an identical patty made from 95% lean prime Black Angus? The iGrill does. As your meal cooks, the subtle glow from under the unit increases brightness and pulses faster until your meal is perfectly done.
Running late at work? Need to get dinner on the table? It is easy to warm up the iGrill from any internet connection. With a little advance planning, your meal can be ready when you get home!
Posted by wiredwonder 
